damn. i was happilly taking a break from typing / checking racing results by preparing a meal for lunch and dinner (ie so i didn't have to think about it again) and put the palm of my writing hand on a cake-cooling tray that i'd just taken out of the pre-warmed oven as i put the dish in. Luckilly for me i've completed the writing part of today, and the slightly bent position the bandage of paw-paw ointment, folded up kitchen paper towel positioned by four elastoplasts fits snugly over the track-ball, and typing is ok. writing is impossible for the rest of the day - and i've yet to see how deep part of the burn is. I was nearly going to 'reiki' it, or tear some aloe vera from the garden apart, but my money's with paw-paw ointment at the moment. thank goodness you can get it from the chemist. Better be careful getting the dish out one-handed!!! Wow though, i did a lot this morning - and the shake in my hand that was affecting my handwriting seems to have gone. phew. (the burn is a faint mark and i lost 70% of the money i bet - that'll teach me ;-)

Set off to get an online betting account, and half-way down the street realised had forgotten form. By the afternoon i'd finally gotten myself a chicken and cashew thai, and shared the end of the meat with a young (skinny) magpie - who wouldn't eat his greens or rice. Then at the pub i was looked on with disdain for even ATTEMPTING to get my online betting account without 'earning' (winning) it first, as i had vehemently insisted upon. Then George bought me a certain win which paid $8.60 which was precisely the amount for a g&t and a schooner of VB.

The bread is too damp. I was only half concentrating when i made it; i used up all the available flour, and then put 125ml water because the recipe said to, but i hadn't used the amount of flour the recipe wanted; it's more like damper or brioche; doesn't toast well, and obviously wont keep. Still, it's enjoyably edible.

That freek storm in Birmingham - i think that's where the next test match is. What wierd times. By far the best bit of today included the Rosella parrots which hold loud rackety court in three biggun gum trees down on the main road at some time in the morning and the IRA saying they'll be political instead of violent from now on.

The precision with which athletes like Lance Armstrong and Grant Hackett attain their goals is mindblowing. I used to be overwhelmed by a description of a conductor who could go out into the garden while a record was playing and hum exactly the right bar as he re-entered the airspace - that's old-hat now, i have done it myself - lol, rather less athletic exertion!

I put some more bread in the oven. I've got tons of projects to finish - today. Then I will sit down and write some book, map out the location, maybe see if my back is ok to sit and type again. The weather will probably be, once again, so beautiful that joy just comes out, naturally. An old friend rang for two hours yesterday; even after years - about 8 - of not talking, we knew each other inside out; amazing really. Oh, and i have managed to put on weight - about 3 k's. I can lose my appetite very easily though, so it's still a work-in-progress.


It's quite hard photographing food - a friend has just complemented me on my sports photography, aren't friends wonderful - but this is at least more in focus than the first loaf... time to eat some!

At some point yesterday, probably when i got out and realised what beautiful weather it is (a 'hot' winter day), my spirits soared. Su Doku kept me occupied all night except for '24' which was at times too scarey to watch and also too short. So i kept doing Sudoku. It's interesting me again in that so often when i'm 'stuck' it's cos of human failing; not noticing something - to a 'trained eye' not noticing something is a different 'kettle of fish' than for one knew or only vaguely interested in the game. The concept of leaving it and coming back is now just to refresh, always aiming to find that silly mistake or vital link. Some of what happens now seems almost taking a risk, but accruing to sound logical principles. Of course a lapse of attention can bring in stupid mistakes! That's just one of the training areas to master.

This weekend i read Morality for Beautiful Girls by Alexander McCall Smith, which Dad told me is easy reading, he'd read the lot, and that i'd enjoy.

It was fun seeing Valentino Rossi stand up after winning in the cold and rain at Donnington, now being 104 points ahead of anyone, and mimick playing a violin. It wasn't fun seeing him on the podium shivvvvverrrrrrinnnnngg his head off, cos also that means the weather's not that good in London. Gillespie didn't have a jacket on in the rain however, i noticed in the paper today.

It wasn't a shot in the face, being left-out-of-the-loop at the weekend, because i understood hysterical reactions and didn't take them to heart. Today was going to be another 'inside' day... yesterday I spent inside (the house) but i've already been on two 'errands' apart from the daily visit to the newsagent. I'm so much calmer now. I can take friends' and family foibles as they come, without being suffocated. Well, actually i wasn't quite sure of that today, but it's still early and i'll just work away doing what i do... keeping on track and not going backwards.

The bread that i made is still beautiful to eat. Because of the extreme emotional but controlled tasking of the last weekend, i have to be careful again of my tummy. I don't think i like reggiano cheese which was $8.89 instead of the commercial parmesan at 3.20 : anyway it wasn't flaky, and had hard white bits in it that didn't melt under the griller. Call me non-cultured, but when Michael sold it to me he said the taste was great - but i missed the taste of the parmesan i'm used to!

The simpler bread recipe in the heart cookbook provided much better results - well, so far : it rose within half-an-hour; mixing all the ingredients with a spoon, and almost whipping it, then just the one rise and in the oven for around half-an-hour. It's based on a Doris Grant recipe; her book provided many with inspiration. (The photo's not very focused but the cut bread is now in my tummy - very edible, not heavy at all - must be all in the whipping, which takes out the yucky bit about getting dough all over fingers. It rose to double original size).

I've decided to be nearly half-a-stone heavier, which means eating more, and in order to gain muscle rather than fat, to work out again. Hmmm, maybe eating more was the easy part!!! lol. I remember when i was much bigger, and it seemed that the consensus was that skinny women lived on their nerves; well mine have been overworked and it's not healthy. Oats are a good nerve tonic... then again, my memory has been underworked, and one of the human frailties as we grow older... that indian variety of basil, now what's its name.

So much advice about healthy eating to discover and sift through; and so many food blogs one could almost degustate!!!

Relating Sudoku back to customer service and communication - being skilled at something is in a way being able to do it in the most economical way. In other words even though it might take 10 years for a skilled person to do something, at least at the end of that ten years there is a quality product.

Finally today I was able to get a 'difficult' Sudoku out in one sitting. In a work environment, where you are paid, it might not be feasible to come back to a problem after a break - there may be a customer who deserves a reaction other than 'we'll contact you later' (That, I guess could come into the 'surprise them' basket). Also you may be being paid for your skill AND speed. The look on competitors' faces in the Tour de France shows how much effort those guys expel, purportedly the hardest physical race on the planet - for what... LA said yesterday the feeling of all the competitors in the last part, the race around the Champs Elysees ('cuse spelling), was very special. The race is then over - you can have regrets, but you live with it. So both in the extra-care customer service and the competitor, it's a case of putting all of your energy to use for a goal with a computable result. With that in mind, I set down to do a difficult Sudoku in one sitting. I knew from yesterday how easy it is to miss things, so that was a goal - after a periodic check to change blue into black (see below) - not to miss a thing. The Zen of Sudoku.

A longer-term goal is to remove the 'checking' element, and living with the huge mistakes to the extent of correcting them. And - once the learning curve is smoothing out - to appreciate the activity at a less-consuming level. In relation to work, a correction in my Sudoku method is not to zoom all over the place so much - which might be fun for me, keeps me amused - but is not easy to follow (this in turn brings in a removable personal stigma [perhaps] of thought-patterns phases out during repetive organised activity). For instance, you can either check the numbers in the first instance (ie writing in red the possibles) by looking at each number over the whole board, or doing each square at a time. I am of the opinion that each square at a time is the most accurate. You can also see at a glance where the checking ends - some squares are 'red'-ded, some are not - some need to be checked as they could or could not be finished. Such distractions therefore - as phone-calls or baby-cries - aren't so much of a burden, as once sitting down again there's that relaxing feeling of why, i've got time for some more puzzle.

Of course I'm talking of someone not-at-work - I've not had one of those jobs where doing crosswords and chatting in newsgroups is part of work for some time. About to try Kuzu drink.
A blend of kuzu, umeboshi plum pulp and ginger, it's not the same as the one in the book it rests on. Interesting taste - think it's helping my tummy relax, ;0)

It's amazing how easy it is to relax when stress is eliminated. Of course, being in such a state can make world problems seem solvable by writing a song; or at least making the effort or showing more interest in finding the truth out. For instance, at the moment, you'd be hard pressed to realise that in the last week there has been an escalation of violence in Iraq, because commercial televisions are dominated by other things.

Why I thought of this was because when a Sudoku problem is too hard, i now walk away from it, and invariably when i come back I will notice something else : for instance, if there's two squares out of three left in a line, and two squares can only be one of two, then you can eliminate both of those from square 3.

And I've got a nice little system going. Here it is : using white- board markers, a $2-shop fridge-sized whiteboard, and a cotton bud (name-change since i bought my present pack!). The given numbers are in black, the possibles in the unsolved squares are red, and the solved but not checked (well i have got a book with the answers in the back so i might as well use them til i stop totally making mistakes) are in blue. So I do a bit, then check them in the book, and if i've got the blue ones right, i make them black. This is also because it's easier visually to just look for black numbers rather than black and blue!!! It is supposed to be fun, after all ;-)

So - in case of not being able to see any more clues - the board can be left like this, or if all the blue were right, turning to black and putting the new correct numbers in the relevant puzzle in the book); or of course if one of the blue ones is wrong, ALL of the blue ones get rubbed out (and it often helps if all the red ones too. By writing the 'knowns' in the book, the puzzle can be rubbed out even if not solved; the ones in the paper are getting harder, so the board is needed for them too (before i got this board set up i nearly went and bought another paper one day because i'd made so much mess of the sudoku i wanted to start again!).

You may have picked up at least two mistakes already in the above puzzle : cosmetically, what's that red 6 doing; and just above the red six in the same column, 4 and 9 can be cotton-budded out, as can the 2 in the same square.... the sort of things that stare you straight in the face after a break.

It wasn't long at all until the whole puzzle was out : here it is solved, still with the blue numbers.

I notice online the sudoku pages don't mention whiteboards; just why computer programs are the better way to do sudoku. I'd rather this one, as you can't cheat : the rule is if one blue number is wrong, all blue are erased. Also it's easier staring at a piece of paper than an illuminated computer screen. I've still got to find if this is the 'magic square' of maths textbooks - some page mentioned it is Euclid. On first (googled) glance it's not exactly the same, but interestingly enough,the next googled glance attributed the knowledge of magic squares to chinese, japanese and tibetan mathematicians and philosophers, citing the use of number theory in the I-Ching.

'single point critical system'... wow i like that term. Of course i googled it - and what's more, this link is an online powerpoint presentation which is one of my short-term goals, to learn how to do. Years back a group email came round of a mini-film, complete with sound of the waterfall, done in powerpoint - i guess secretaries have a lot of time on their hands, but it was also very clever and probably done at home then shared around! ;-) Anyway it seems to be an engineering / electronics / computing term. It's an amazingly detailed and readable analysis... not that i've read the whole thing yet, i'm still recovering ...

Woah. After sleeping at the most for 3 hours for 2 nights, and then again waking up after 3 hours (south pacific sent me to sleep which was a pity really as i've never seen it the whole way through - aunty lorna loved it) i decided if i was still awake at 4am i'd do the bread recipe i'd opened the book at - and yeah, i slept through the alarm after the first hour of leaving it to rise. Luckilly i was aware something had woken me, and then realised that even though i was cross with my fab new phone not having a 'snooze' button (so that it kept 'alarming' you) it did actually have 3 alarm settings; so for the next 'rising' i set 2 of them 5 minutes apart. I don't like getting doughy fingers, and would rather do it with a knife.

Anyway, so i got a bit more sleep last night, and finally got out a Sudoku i'd been working on for days. I do miss bnet, but wouldn't mind hanging out 'til Halloween! LOL. It's a good online community, and i visit their blogs and this week that brought the realisation how many ppl i 'know' from it. I reckon a visit to the dentist is the next expense however!!! That could cost a fortune.

Someone could - or is - making a fortune from such as this home-made version of a sudoku board : with the grid in permanent ink, and providing a whiteboard (erasable) pen... even extra facets.

I made this up because last night i was stuck on one from the book that i bought Monday - it had no 5's at all, so there were at least 2 choices for every hard-to-solve square (you can see i've left one of the 5's outo in the bottom right line 3 in!). This morning - as i avoid going on the computer late at night for my eye's sake - I googled on sudoku hints, and found one that gave me some ideas, but reinforced the practice i had been doing of (as in illustration) putting all possible numbers in the square. Seeing I was in danger of needing another correction pen as well as breathing it in and clogging up the biro by writing on it before it had dried, i remembered this little whiteboard, with the novel's synopsis on it. Rummaging around i found two colours of permanent marker and the whiteboard marker that was attached to it, and ruled up the grid. It will be amusing to see if they do come on the market, for as the back of the book attests, it is quite addictive, and therapeutic for concentration, inference and self-criticism (as well as confidence).

Hmm, the morning is running away, but it feels good to have 'interest' back in life. Will try the pizza dough recipe again tonight, as i didn't spread the dough out enough and it was too thick - but an excellent recipee off a bowienet messageboard thread from her grannie who grew up in Benvenuto (which at first glance i thought was Verdi's birthplace but that is Busseto

The thrown-away winning race ticket wasn't worth as much as I had thought (i had looked at the bookie price) but still, it's a lesson to learn.
My roll of Scotch Crystal Clear Tape ran out today. It had been my favourite sellotape, with its little red tartan plastic dispenser, slightly thicker in width and excellent adhesive quality. The dispenser has the recycling sign on it, but there's no identity to where it was made - must be for universal market, with english/french and metric/inches.
Similarly appreciated are my favourite pens of the moment : the bandaged bear day pen (quite the most comfortable charity pen I've ever bought - luckily my local shop are still selling them, and at $3 a pop i stock up!) and the Staedtler Triplus ball F (bought when pen-less on the road) which is quite the most comfortable pen with its new-pencil-like-length and three-sided grip.
I didn't do much about the synopsis yesterday, as the paper said there was a book of Sudo Ku down at the newsagents; there sure was, and most of them are 'difficult' - and that's very true. I'll need a new white-out pen soon! However, they are very useful in :

• putting off other tasks (!)
  
• aiding concentration
  
• the power of preparation : being patient enough to really find all the absolute nowhere-else-to-go numbers
  
• keeping level headed; writing the right number in the spot instead of greedilly looking for the next clue and absent-mindedly putting the wrong number in the right spot, or the right number in the wrong spot
  
• learning to retain long-term-useless information so can back-track at the time of puzzling
  
• releasing sense of humour when realise cant continue due to former mistake, and the fact that one DID make a mistake
  
• being able to think forward in head with clarity and precision and avoiding quick presumptions without proper deductive conclusions
  
• the power of inference!
  
• the power of practise, knowledge, technique, confidence, patience and perseverance.
  
• admitting some of them are reallyhard!
  

On with the day, this is it ;-)

It was quite late before I felt like the sunday reading of a book - after i'd read the paper twice, cut out the coupons for the dream car competition, and caught up on the monthly glossy mag from the city's main paper. The day before I'd half-heartedly begun to tidy up the books, and out came a pile of children's books I'd gotten cheap from the library; including Finn's Island by Eileen Dunlop (1991). It was an entrancing tale, full of whimsical undertones such as we can't choose our parents but in the end it is possible to come to terms with them and be yourself as well; we can dream our lives away, but the most amazing coincidences can appear to ground us; money isn't everything but being able to take initiative and counsell from others can help it balance out with living expenses; and - close to my heart - plants hold amazing properties than can help humans!

The coincidence factor was continued on with a story about the cyclist Lance Armstrong's victory over cancer on tv in the evening (Sixty Minutes). Coincidence, synergy, syncronicity : one of the most important facets still to be scientifically measured. I woke up realising it will be, quite soon (In next 50 years). Not, maybe, as astute as Colin Wilson's Factor X!

I will have to force myself to get down and do the synopsis today.

After cutting out all the goods that i would buy today if i had the money, from a brochure inside the sunday paper:-

• microwave $229
  
• portable dvd $599
  
• gastop/electric oven $1995
  
• LCD tv $699
  
• home theatre package $1287
  
• side-by-side fridge $2199
  

(therefore imagining spending around $7000 on credit), I turned to the horse-racing results.

I hadn't meant to bet at all, but was determined to go see what it was like wearing my new glasses. They just didn't look 'me' at home, and in fact the local shopkeeper said the same thing, and didn't want me to wear them. I could see the board however; and in this particular race Jon Ron came up from a bad start and last position to win; what i hadn't noticed was that Mr Marvellous had indeed come second.

The pub is a bit shaken at the moment, with the new non-smoking law. A lady i didnt see much but is a great friend of a friend, was there, and looking at her through the new glasses i nodded, but continued watching the before-race coverage. Then another mate said they were all going outside for a smoke. (bit like smokos at work! i'd not go there to smoke, but for the company) I watched the race, didn't hear either of my horses, and went to join them, which turned to her. It's unusual there being another lady in the crowd, and sure enough when a mate returned they'd been involved in a ribald joke concerning her and the name of a horse in the next race (that came 4th) There was a draw for losing tickets at 5pm, but i didn't intend on staying long and nor did she so she didn't want it, and so after fiddling with it I chucked it in an ashtray. I'm on a strict budget and so had to go before I accepted a drink and then another....

Not that the fact it had really been worth 125% more than i bought it for, but the fact that i let distraction win over cold hard cash; and also that the glasses aren't social. I need a snazzy pair, and a better attitude when i go to buy them. I guess in retrospect if I really looked at the board, instead of giving up because I heard it had come 4th, which is a bit of a mystery but they may have corrected as i left second after I'd heard '4th', I would have stayed and bet the winnings and bought another drink.

Morale of this story :
• never throw away a tab ticket straight away
• admit that when I heard 4th, it was '4', and the number of the horse that had come second!!!

D'oh!

The other thing i retrieved from the paper is a 'farmstay' location. The picture resembled Loweswater Lake - not that i've been there for 40 years apart from in spirit, as one can say (!) Sort of the very place that if i'd done a J.K. and become England's richest woman i would have bought the childhood holiday house.

Talking of J.K., with her weekend coming up, I was - before immersed in work stress - going to have at least the third and final plot for my second attempt at a novel finished before the second last book made everyone dream of writing the world's most popular book. Well, well, the stress has ended and there is still time. Isn't life wonderful.

Another thing i haven't done is draw, which is partly due to the fact my hands shake. Maybe i can stop them shaking, which brings me back to the list of stress symptoms in the first posting of this blog, under a week ago : so i thought it expedient to re-visit it.

• not being able to relax out of work simple:when thoughts/worry about it come up, think on loved ones instead. if stress happens at work; similarly, think on what carries through life, not this particular situation apart from the best possible solution to the 'crisis', however mini
  
• overload become aware of best work practice and how much can be achieved (time management, prioritisation, teamwork, planning) within own delegation
  
• eyesight compensate by training my memory to take over as much as possible and to centre in on details so that eyes are not overly used
  
• shaking exercise, relaxation, concentration on body workings, practice
  
• making mistakes at work affirmative action with overload and carrying out tasks; and taking up 'outside' work again with hope that it becomes lucrative
  

Realising I threw away a winning ticket was a relevation that actually made me laugh just now, and it was well worth losing the little profit that i had made to realise such fallibility- as well as noticing a relaxed happy composure had taken over from the stress and angry determination of last week. It was a matter of glossing over detail because of something else that had taken priority, and if i can learn that lesson today, so that I don't make the mistake again, and especially not at work, it will have been worth it. I shall write it into a scene from this book whose plot needs to be complete by Friday for my life to fall into place again!

Found two old textbooks; looking for Creating Competent Communication (Hugenberg/Moyer-Patsey, 1997) after i found the student manual, instead found Getting Ready to Negotiate (Fisher and Ertel, 1995). I studied the subject within a business sub/major and didn't do that well; it's probably not the best type of subject to do by correspondence! In fact I don't think i've even attempted to read these books right through...

Have caught myself in various slouches, frowns and other inwardly unconfident poses, and postively reinforced better stance and mood, i was therefore happier when i subconsciously started to stretch my back when looking for the book. Two ladies that i smiled at yesterday didn't come out of such behaviour; it's not been long since i could have had that reaction (and ages since it consumed me), but being automatically smiled at in the street is such a present... totally voluntary and no harm meant otherwise... just that the negative anger that can slightly show itself couldn't be much fun. Last tuesday a lady talked to me as i passed the bus-stop she was at because a couple with pram had just rudely pushed past her. She said things aren't like that where she comes from, everyone is polite to each other.

I like reading a book on a Sunday. Corse, if something comes up, i didn't read a book that day. And it may not be a whole book. But if i do manage to find the Hugenberg/Moyer-Patsey one, i'll start it - not forgetting the library books atop here were taken out for a reason ;-)

I've been noticing different customer service situations this week : from picking up a new pair of glasses to having the mobile phone company ring and explain how to set up multimedia messages.

'Dealing' with marketing calls at home is also a valuable resource. Their emotional content of opening mood and message is somewhat ruined when they ask for the husband, or only know you as an entry in the telephone book. While not wanting to upset the caller unneccesarily, their phone call is an unwanted intrusion with a request for information or monies. Especially with the high price of landlines these days. However the professional ire with which some of them negate any request not to participate is almost stalking, bullying or just plain get-out-of-my-face material. Valuable practice in self-assertion can be to aim to politely and with the same verbal power decline the call and hang up. Let it go.

When I picked up the new set of glasses I had rung the previous week, because they were overdue; the attitude of the young staff was casual, which they probably were as part of the rotating shift amongst the several city shops; and judging from the casual nature of their clothes, the job wasn't well paid. So I took the service offered with mixed emotions, and determined to get the second pair elsewhere. They probably have little interest in their job.

The mobile phone customer service was excellent. I had applied for assistance online, stating very clearly what i wanted to solve. I received an email back - without the automatic automated response. I was taken through the process (of putting multimedia ability on the phone which basically means connecting to the internet from it) and was amazed at how like a computer it is. It was all done with a great attitude, no talking down at all (ie no ego-playing getting in the way). I was probably an easier customer and was prompted to ring them back if it didn't work. I really felt like i was a valuable customer. I thanked him after for ringing out of work hours. He probably likes his job.

That brings back the memories of getting the phone. I spent a night without a functioning one, and then headed down to where i'd seen a special on a pre-paid camera phone. The shop had sold out the afternoon before (ie before my phone had gone down). After i finally found, after a long walk, what i wanted - a prepaid camera phone - the shop owner and I spat and spated at each other, with the result i got an absolutely beautiful phone, for, i am beginning to think, at quite a reduced cost. It was like a son-in-law and mother-in-law, i tell you; so eventually i broke the ice by asking him what 'bulshit' was in his language - he turned to the young shop assistant and they discussed the equivalent word.

Then the emotional blast of turning on the telly last night to see the london bombings; and the absolute precision and professionalism of the emergency services, led and controlled by the police force. They kept stressing that their services were very highly trained and wow did it show. The absolute gutter scraping of the journalists was in sharp contrast, but heh, that's their job. No, the unity and worth of the emergency services was astounding.

The mobile phone seller didn't have [polite] customer service skills - he was a manager and a businessman, but he gave me a great deal and professional service (checking the phone in shop, explaining the warranty, instant negative reaction as to whether he carried accessories), and we had a bit of fun despite protocol. His shop was chaotic, but worked in its chaos : a little bit of magic to lighten the day up.

Meanwhile, I'm still broke and somewhat battered, yet a pattern is emerging and progress has been made.

There are various ways that we can deal with stress at work. There are not many that are constructive however!!!

I am more used to writing blogs in rock-band websites, and havent written anything 'serious' for about 7 years, so probably wont publicize this blog until it's acheiving its purpose, which is as a source of how one particular person recognised the source of stress and lack of optimum performance at work, and attempted to solve it - and in doing so helping others by forming a constructive pattern of positive action as well as forever losing the 'victim' tag.

Over the weekend, I read Andrea Adams' book on Bullying in the Workplace, and the book was enlightening to say the least, and I began to realise that throwing the same I Ching trigram twice in a row, both at a time when I felt threatened at work - 1 The Creative and 44 Coming to Meet (with the first line moving) - meant I had to stand up for myself, even though I was being beseiged with negative feedback!

The little compartments of our lives - home, work, social, love - can often mean we have different 'faces', and while not exactly appearing different in each one, often finding that people treat us differently in each one. This facet can happen, too, at work. The most important thing in that respect is the work, and an optimally professional outlook.

So the symptoms of stress, in my case, were :-
- not being able to relax out of work, always worrying about it, which carried forward last week INTO work, so i was uptight when i got there this has been reduced by talking to my supervisor, and also doing sudoku number puzzles in the paper each day; also seeing a counsellor
- when overload hits, my mind went into answering the next query asap without total concentration on the matter
- my eyesight, severely strained by a database job, was such a worry it seems I started to look at a scheduling program as little as possible which led me to make big mistakes i now have a new pair of glasses, and was surprised when i got a prescription for computer work, which led me to the above conclusion
- shaking hands and a involuntary neck spasm when concentrating on the computer the neck spasm may be hereditary, but both it and the hands seem to be related to computer work, and the first step for me is to have regular breaks to stand up and stretch, and also concentrate on neck and back stretching as a daily exercise
- making mistakes at work which with careful hindsight I have decided can be alleviated by regaining my supervisor's confidence; thinking twice before I make a statement; and asking a colleague to listen to my side of the story

So here is my original plan, to work on :
- when i first get to work, i relax, look at the diary, visualise in my mind when certain people will arrive, and thus the first possible distractions from concentrated work
- when i start a project, knowing that at any time a phone call or reception client may interupt, as well as another member of staff, to plan to be able to stop working on the project (ie break concentration), take a nanosecond moment for oneself and to count to ten / breathe, and then approach the next action with full concentration and ability.
- beating isolation by asking some of colleagues from nearby department if i can join them for lunches sometimes; concentrating awareness of physical position in office so that do not get startled by any customer, internal or external, and being able to take on their emotional message as an aside to the work demand

I haven't yet been in the workplace to carry out any of the above, or met with my supervisor and their assistant manager, but thanks to a lot of retrospection and the reading of Andrea's book, as well as my supervisor offering to act as a mentor as I concentrate on learning customer service skills, I feel that I am capable of regaining respect in this particular job.

So if this site works it's a work in progress that will end up as an article on one person's approach to happier work! See you soon....