Work Work

2012-01-03T20:12:00.002+11:00

Reading a few books at once when i have the urge : two on voice : one on sex : one on advertising : and then I was staring at the Acropochrypa and started that. But mainly trying to get over not being able to sort papers in this front room so that it is totally tidy.... some of us just seem to be pile-creators !

2011-05-14T15:55:00.003+10:00

Half-way through a little book called 'The Bitch at Work' by Elizabeth Hills (2007) from the library where i went to get a book on Access and reserve a book i could see from the online catalogue was two weeks late back. It's a quiet Saturday .... i've made it so. Said i needed time to work out when i would be at the pub under the changed circumstances; because no way in the world did i want to end up drinking more than before. That decision is made easier by the weather - most of my drinking buddies also smoke and so they sit outside in the beer garden.

I'd already read through Paul Arden's 'Whatever You Think Think the Opposite.' (2006) which was momentous from its description of the fosbury flop; a fabulous denigration of meetings (p72) and a very timely message on p.104. I love these 'quirky' books from these terribly successful creative directors and our library seems to love them too. In a while i'll go back to the morning's paper to read the articles that i kept the paper for, instead of leaving in the coffee shop where i had breakfast. I created and started inputting into the access book catalogue then shut the door on that for the day hours ago. The sun's been out with an indication of iciness in the wind but that just means you can say 'gosh it must be cold in Canberra then'.

Seeing at it was 2008 the last time i blogged and now it's 2011, i guess things are moving along - as they do. And I aim to post regularly for quite a while. Wasnt even sure if my blog still existed !

2008-06-05T22:07:00.003+10:00

last book read was Isadore Brodsky's "Sydney Looks Back"... written mid20thC looking back on the days when Sydney sure sounded fun!!! Gee it was a good read! I kept thinking 'there's a movie in here' ... and it has influenced me a lot. I must read more of his stuff and around it. I mean i was crossing over Broadway and came onto the pedestrian island with all the other people who were mainly facing and travelling in the same direction as me - when i started to impress upon myself, after looking at young ones laughing and carrying on - come on you were that young on this island once ... try to remember back ... yet i was so mucked up in those days that's all - at present - that i remember ;-... lol. Life is SO much better now. Anyway - it's a good book.

2007-12-29T07:28:00.000+11:00

Watching some cartoon on Hercules, and have Ian McEwan's On Chesil Beach : both of which show my current fascination with Photoshop in that i look at the cover design and the cartoon drawing and go what program did that! Have had a bit of a break from here as you can see as I have been blogging on bnet as i rejoined them last year. This Hercules cartoon is pretty cute !

2006-05-30T19:27:00.000+10:00

My dad writes academic stuff, and so when i eventually started to read - anyway, so i got an interest in the Voynich manuscript, and will update and this post when i've read a bit more or finished both Kennedy &Churchill and Goldstone and Goldstone on that subject. My eyes are too tired right now!!!

2006-04-09T13:33:00.000+10:00

When I am ready to read To The Forbiddden Land, selected and adopted from Sven Hendin's Writings, again, I shall endeavour to answer the questions in the back. Originally published in 1934, the copy i have is from the 'First AES Reprint' (Asian Educational Services, New Delhi, 1988) It is an exciting read; I picked it up for $5 last week, and with some emphasis on how many horses and other pack animals died on the journey as to that however exciting it may sound, it was also very dangerous. His descriptions of peoples and their characteristics; logs of dangerous expeditions, of 'loud' auditory remembrances and of nature with a somewhat 'florid' style works. In the short biography at the back his writings obviously amount to quite a few including his autobiography.

2006-03-26T12:55:00.000+11:00

Havent sat down and read a book for a while, but recently have started to with Beyond Coincidence (Plimmer & King, 2004). At first i thought i was reading a total sceptics book, but by Chapter 4 we've been introduced to Shelton and his theories of morphic resonance.

Being a great believer in co-incidence myself, i hope to read at least 2 chapters this afternoon inbetween the weekend's de-dusting and socialities round-up.

2006-02-12T09:54:00.000+11:00

Phew - the only thing that worries me about this post is it's 4 years old, so does that mean it was panned?

2006-02-04T21:26:00.000+11:00

I've just finished Thea Astley's Vanishing Points. My dad said his best friend knows her[turns out it was someone else] ; well, she died last year; but that would be the vibe, i think, i picked up about how funny some of her writing is!!!!

Vibes are wierd. Today I almost felt i was schizophrenic because, i think, when i was talking to this old guy on the phone, when i got off, i felt really wierd. Really wierd. It was scarey actually. I've been a bit stressed, but this was ridiculous. I am OK now, but, and was thinking all through that apart from that i've been fine; so what brought that on. Wierd.

I like how i came across Thea Astley : i wasnt really aware of her, and was trying to say Thelma Attford to my dad and instead said Thea Astley. Then when i was trying to find Thelma Attford for him (as i was the last one who had seen it) i found Vanishing Points. At times it made me cry; at other times i didn't want to read it cos it was so intense.

Anyway, it's Thelma Afford - D'oh. !!! And we still haven't found it!!! Looks like i'll have to start reading Italian for Dummies, 9 which i was so sure had gone back to the library i went to search for it; guess where it was, at the back of the sofa ;-/ ) or back to the FilemakerPro8 user guide, which is a bit complicated ;-/ lol.

2006-02-04T18:48:00.000+11:00

I havent had a very balanced day... however, it's more to do with the mistakes i've made, which i now have to mend. However, to make it worthwhile your reading this, please visit this link!

2006-01-15T10:15:00.000+11:00

The pain of reading three pages of dense type from a normally vacuous Sunday paper has prompted this entry : it was a story from the Guardian on the Laurie Engel Fund.

Otherwise, the last few days have gotten me back to normalcy after working so hard I wondered whether i was overdoing it; when i'm overtired, i can't do Su-do-ku puzzles - either that, or the telly has been giving us genius-level ones to try. Luckilly i haven't chucked all the papers out in the recycling yet (monday night) so can check up on the answers when I'm pretty sure that these puzzles are above all my present skills in solving them.

Have got non-fiction books left from the xmas lending spree at the library, and stopped myself getting a novel when i realised i'd been given a pre-loved one on xmas day : The Art of Murder, Jose Carlos Somoza . The relief of once again finding a jewel of a read was mixed by the astoundingly original and gripping idea, the fact that there was another book by this writer that was its equal, a respect and intrigue of how it reads in the original Spanish, and the horrific subject matter that actually allowed the reader a sort of physicality throughout. All that means is that i am not actually trying to do a sunday read, as it is quite long, in 3 parts, and encourages you to enjoy it as a master-work from a skilled writer; looking up words that don't straight away cognate, and be horrified by the fact that art could take this turn.

It actually, in its depiction of women as priceless sexual objects, reminded me of Geishas / Keikos : in that their personality and appearance create living art. I am not really looking forward to seeing Memoirs of a Geisha, but in the paper today there is an article about why so many adherents of the craft's true preservation do not like the movie. That is why i haven't linked it - you can find my ramblings about a similar book that was a great read further down.

And it's only 10.33am on a Sunday, and already so many emotions. Dreamt of work - but in a fun way; i've nearly persuaded workmates (ie a manager and co-worker) into allowing an in-house folksong duo at an official welcome - voice, lager-fone and guitars, so i must learn the words to Drovers Dream and provide simple chord charts for tomorrow!!!!!

2005-12-31T07:25:00.000+11:00

After being criticised again for my footwear, i found a website on the bottom of them : www.crocs.com . Seems I'm not alone in absolutely having to have a pair as soon as i saw them, and finding them really comfortable!!!! Am just into The Almond Pickers by Simonetta Agnello Hornby. Saw Good Morning America's Friday show when i woke up, and the practice of the ball dropping in Times Square, so feel like have celebrated already. LOL.

2005-12-30T10:44:00.000+11:00

I'm constantly amazed at what Sudoku can do, in terms of awareness of concentration and other mental capacities. I had tried Tuesday's unsuccessfully 3 times, and then after getting Wednesday's out, using set procedure, I got it out no trouble. Reminds me of biorhythms in that certain days are more emotional/intellectual/physical than others.

Staying home today, even from the pub : reading two books concurrently : Meant to Be (Edie Claire) and Huna (Enid Hoffman) which reminded me of a paperback hanging round for decades that is essentially the same topic (bought secondhand; Secrets of Kahuna Magic, Brad Steiger) which i'm interested in for its links to hands-on healing, maybe only to convince myself it has merits. This is after watching 6 dvds in time to get 8 back to the shop yesterday. The fiction one is easily read, with digestible chapters and sparse effective descriptions. The non-fiction is one of those books that almost needs a pen and paper handy to put in a more self-designed digestable format, picking out salient points.

I sure hope the delivery van remembers to come today! It's quiet and peaceful, apart from the lady arriving for work in her big powerful blacked-out windows car, and me cross from last night when after discussing work in detail with a colleague, hurled her fast-food carton out the window before driving off. I think i got the point across, but the carton was under the car. It sure is a powerful car but; car noises being the only slightly abrasive part of the day!

2005-12-24T17:21:00.001+11:00

Read a book by Scott Russell Hill today - his fourth. The toothache seems to get worse if i go a walk, and it seemed - apart from cooking for tomorrow - an ideal occupation for today, along with a pain-killer, the prescription of which i've nearly finished and am practically convinced i need another tooth out. I found it funny when the typos began, sort of half-way through; it grounded it. Then they stopped again, so i'm presuming it was a part that was rewritten or something. It was light reading that i enjoyed; 'yuri' had a tooth out, when he was 'missing' - without anaesthetic... yuck! (Note : on 3/1/06, when the dentist re-opened, i was diagnosed with a dry socket, which i'd probably had for two weeks and the dentist was horrified that i had coped with the pain. On 14/1/06, by using a paddle-pop stick while reading, i managed to dislodge a small splinter of bone, either from the tooth or the jaw, so hopefully all pain from this particular procedure should cease)

2005-12-24T05:03:00.000+11:00

The Secret River was a gem, even if there was a break in reading it because of a tooth extraction. I am glad that i did not have root canal therapy though - not just because of the money. Now i am wondering if finally my 'psyche' will 'let' me earn more money to pay for such things.

Woke up middle of the night and finished a little book of Irish Ghost Stories (Padriac O'Farrell). Coincidentally, a friend dropped by last week who'd come 'home' after trying to go 'home' to Cork.

2005-12-16T15:32:00.000+11:00

Reading; finished and took back Jane R Goodall, The Visitor and Samsara and am now reading Kate Grenville (The Secret River, which i hoped was the one it is, 2005, because it was reviewed as capturing the silence of the beautiful bush that once must have reverberated with the sounds of people living in it) and Elizabeth Wayland Barber and Paul T. Barber (When They Severed the Earth from the Sky).

Goodall's book put me - or kept me - in a good mood for reading. It reminded me of a popular forensics mystery writer, and dan brown's way of zooming the plot along at a racing pace. The magicky bits in it went well with the psychic book, in the description of claire's psychic-ness - and vulnerability - also different and successful forms of bonding, friendships, partnerships - as well as recognitions within them of things going wrong.

So far both these books are enthralling - with the myths one, two pages in and i'm wanting to make notes - why boch that in with those examples, it's different - i think that's when the three kings fought dragons - meaning that there would have been some hair-raising animals in that 100,000 years they say we've had the same brain power. Hmm, but 2 pages in i better not make assumptions!

the river - yeah, the only other thing i've read - not successfully - by kate grenville is the how-to-write book - maybe i should try to find it and read it with save the cat while i'm in the mood! lol. How cute, his wife and children getting transported with him due to kindly words to stop him being hung for stealing brazil wood.

i sat down - well, lied - [lay] - to think about how the 'guides' the psychic describe could best help my teeth! ... and instead read.

2005-12-13T19:40:00.000+11:00

oh yeah, and last weekend i read diary of a psychic by sonia choquette. then i listened to the radio show ...

2005-12-02T18:19:00.000+11:00

reading heaps : last week Lesley Downer's Geisha; this week Mad Mary Lamb (Susan Tyler Hitchcock) and Giles Morgan The Holy Grail .

Save the Cat by Blake Snyder will probably hold me up a bit; the other two, one on the realities behind myths and the other on the history of shakespeare's scholarship for a beginner were both more complicated than this, i thought, until i got to the assignments page. that stopped me reading for the day. all books published this year : i couldn't make my way around the novel section so went to new books to see if there were any in there. And i got one out for my Dad too; Keith Miller the cricketer.

2005-11-19T13:51:00.000+11:00

I'm starting to exercise, finding out about where i've aged, taking it slowly and with everything else. Woody Guthrie's Bound for Glory is a very enjoyable read at the moment.

2005-11-02T08:33:00.000+11:00

I don't normally agree with the editor but today's comment in the daily telegraph says it all, reduced me to tears, which is a bit silly in real terms but never mind.

Admitedly i didn't believe that Makybe Diva could win a third Melbourne Cup until one of the expert punters said on the eve shes a freak; but still I didn't think fate would allow it. I'm in the same job i was in for her first Melbourne cup win, and remember how that morning i'd woken up with her name in my mind, remember an exact moment that morning at the office. That was when i was just getting into racing. Previously i'd snubbed my nose at such a dumb sport. Last years win was a social festival, hugely enjoyable. Yesterday on my way to work it felt like there was a horse walking behind me; the tension in the morning was hard to work through; yesterday Glen Boss described his winning ride as almost pre-ordained; the owner i think said they call the horse 'all ears' cos it wants to know everything that goes on. I was watching its eyes, embarrased almost at the depth of their consciousness; feeling for it losing its best friend Mummify, who i imagined racing up in the clouds urging her on. I know horses are 'intelligent' now; i still havent learnt to horse-whisper, but i know its not only possible, but has been a huge part, fact, of human experience in our past. Here i am in middle middle age, and now know i can still be successful at something; still make my mark... not sure what at, but the relationship between these triumviates- trainer/jockey/owner - and the power, spirit, gentleness and daily life of horses; has got something to do with it even if just inspiration. Wow.

2005-10-16T14:15:00.000+10:00

I'd SMS'd a friend whose son said he arrived back in Sydney yesterday, for a breakfast meet-up (half as a joke as his fiance would want him wholey!) and as has been happening lately, looked up from work (typing or writing) and noticed hours had gone past - this time it meant the shopping centre was open and i could get some more printing toner.
So i set off, deciding that the renovated moore's cafe (they've made it one '0' now) with its excellent tables and plates (they're huge and square) would be the place to go if not too crowded and had at least one other single person in it (!), and found to my relief that it had the sunday papers.
Anyway that relief turned me into a near-crybaby as i got to page 3. When i'd gone to the pub for a late arvo g&t, my mate said it was Mummify that had 'broken down' ... we had a near-argument as he kept saying it came third how could it have been blocked (i cant quite remember the word i used) and i kept explaining that what i meant was was its injury due to another rider or obstruction... i still haven't worked out what happened, except this article on page 3 said that the trainer, lee freedman, cried his eyes out and implored the vets to save him if at all possible.
There's a movie, though i can't remember which one, where a horse is in a sling - two straps keep it elevated off the ground. While one'd immediately imagine the [bed] 'strap' sores, and the fact that the vets would have normally put him down, the look on the horse's face (i knew a horse had been injured but not which one) just after it happened, was similar to the look on Railings face when it was led into the mounting yard as the hero... he piped down once his strapper took the lead, it was as plain as day - Mummify looked to be looking round for someone too, or just plain staggered that it wasn't being lead into the mounting yard itself. No Wonder Lee Freedman was so upset. Apparently the foreleg sesamoid bone that he's broken is behind the fetlock and carries the weight.
Then later, once home, my friend for breakfast rang - he's still overseas until tomorrow!!! LOL

2005-10-07T10:09:00.000+10:00

The last chapter of Poor Man's Orange by Ruth Park (1949) had me collapse in tears. The element of the much loved daughter/sister/wife/mother lost in childbirth coming through in psychic syncronicity; the descriptions of the marsh in the old days before the tarmac shops and slums as the breeding ground of swans and the loquats full of pink cockatoos; the mention of three weeds growing up as soon as one of the slums came down, and a quote about the sole of a koorie which so explained their loneliness in a white man's whirlpool. It came after an insolent-like fury that it was based in surry hills and not glebe wanted it finished then and there, an almost resentment for having to read endless images of bed-bugs, constantly broken and drunk men, and women in silent despair. Yet those descriptions won out; they were what i read it for, and were enough to feed my curiousity about the past. It's even a movie.

2005-10-03T10:03:00.000+10:00

One of those delightful reading sundays : did a Stephen Fry, and before that Sex and The City.

I wasnt sure about "The Stars Tennis Balls" at first, but had picked SF up purely from seeing him on Parkinson, and the name : Fry. Christopher Fry's oft-quoted verse from "Sleep of Prisoners" i used in a little showlet i did as a teenager in Stanley Palmers' Culture Palace in Darlinghurst. When i opened the book i was pleasantly surprised by the big type, suggesting it wasnt that long a read. Moralistically, i think the change in the book came when Babe noticed a change in Ned. Word-wise, the only phrase i didn't understand was "his own mephitic fug"

By the evening, after a day which was pregnant with a quiet anticipation : would the tigers win; i settled down with the match on, sound down, my book firmly open. I would put my glasses on periodically to check the score, and at one stage i thought the clock had stopped and then realised that there was only minutes left. I dont know the game (as like horse-racing before it i have spent most of my life here deriding it) but nearing the end the Cowboys got a chance for a goal which could have changed the scoreboard. But this morning when my shoulder, which had started hurting on satday night, was actually making me feel sick with pain, i noticed the 'tiger' on the linament packet. Today's main perogative is to ease the pain caused by the temp assignment of copy/pasting all day holding the mouse stationery to ensure the speediest workflow. Now for a speedy recovery before duty calls tomorrow. Go the Tigers!!! LOL

2005-10-01T10:15:00.000+10:00

Coriander Crop Spring '05

About 3 Satdays ago, when i realised there were visitors in the house that i was expecting next week not this week, i got a punnet of coriander and painstakingly transplanted each little seedling out into this planter box, and look at them now!

This week i did the same with a punnet (if that's the right word) of dill. At present they're mostly not standing up, so hope to post their picture here too in a few weeks. I read on the packet that they can reach a metre in height and their flowers are very decorative.

The important thing with the coriander is not to let it burst into seed, which it does very easily in our climate. I am a great one for planting out herbs and vegetables and then just looking at them. I guess here i should go and snap one of the lettuces :-

LOL.

2005-09-27T19:38:00.000+10:00

I feel vaguely guilty about this photo and hope the cat's alright. I had noticed him perched up on the neighbour's roof watching the backyard in detail. I heard a catfight (ie growl) in the pitch black last night after a plaintive meow and a bell-collar.

So - naturally or lazilly - i assumed this rather large cat up on the battlements was the source of the defensive behaviour. This photo looks as if though it might have got a painful shock.

I thought it would be good to send to a friend the latest cat intruder, and as it was dark and on automatic naturally the flash went off.

I also think this cat stops Blackie from visiting - and could even be the lacerator. Innocent until, they say, so i will only ponder on the possibility.

Gosh i dont think i'll take a picture of anyone again using an automatic focus without warning them!! LOL.

2005-09-25T10:16:00.000+10:00

After the emotional of the last weeks in which i tried to regain some semblance of control, subtly demonstrated by a resulting lethargy i will get rid of today, it all turned out alright, midst a cloud of mishaps. I don't really know where to go from here, but i think that's the point. However, i did wish today, after greeting a friend in the street, that i had a huge big kitchen into which people would drop in much like locals at a pub. An expression of familiarity and relaxedness that i honestly felt. So different from reality, that i thought i could treat it as one does when one wants to buy something and gets obsessive about it. The pictures of the huge kitchens on sale and installed in houses help. A goal. Right now the goal is housework :-D

2005-09-15T17:40:00.000+10:00

even tho' today was quite emotional, starting with wierd vibes in the shops (blotchy face yet cheery smile; another one turned away as soon as i'd paid, so i had to put the stuff in a bag myself; finding the letter our dad had written to explain how mum died) i won at the races : got both winners and a place. it was funny looking back... but heh i dont mind where i am. at all. really. lol.

2005-09-14T08:23:00.000+10:00

I've got a favourite book at home. Well it's not mine. It was given to my father by one of his students, probably about 40 years ago. It's a translation of the poems of Hafiz. It is done in the form of stitchomancy, ie that you can open it and it will help you with the particular transition of life. Yesterday i was really tired, which makes me depressed. I'd not slept the night before, and had had a major collision on Saturday - well that's how i'll put it, because you never know who reads a blog. So it was an arabic friend who pulled me up for being down. Not that he doesnt get down, but when i saw a friend walk past he let me go wheras he wouldnt before cos even though i said it was being tired he said i wasnt happy. When i got home I was still tired, but happier because of talking with friends. I needed sleep but had that frustration before it. I went and opened the book and it was a page i had never seen before, about the fact that your friends have such influence on you you must check them out really carefully to see if they are having a bad influence on you. I remembered back through the year that that is exactly what i have been doing. I thought of one friend who protests her deep friendship for me but her actions speak louder than those words and especially when she protests how wrong it is for friends to ring up after years in tears because their marriage has collapsed. I don't think that is wrong, because those friends needed someone, even if they did not get the total sympathy they expected from me due to their blinding anger, which in time will abate. Other than her, there are no more friends that are bad for me - because there is a difference between friends in need, who are in a down spell, and friends who are bad for you. The friends up the road i gave up because they were bad for me - when they got drunk their attitude toward me showed they were unfamiliar with my train of thought which to them was not of their unparalled level. They also were critical of my friendships with labourers and tradesmen rather than intellectuals and snobs. Even their children were horrified sometimes in their treatment of me. So i opened the book again, still waiting for that blessed sleep to alleviate my temporary trauma. It said that i was well on the way even though i thought i was an idiot. Well, in that vein : don't kid yourself, you're doing fine. Sleep came.

2005-09-10T10:52:00.000+10:00

Gees. I woke up feeling OK, and happy at least that i was alone, ie no responsibilities, and a bit worried about next weekend, which i had hoped to reserve for that special someone, yet family seemed to be bearing down.

This started me thinking about ego, and how one can feel controlled and dominated by another's use of their personality to assert own way. In fact we all do it.

I was a bit upset when i came back from getting the paper about this, and determined to find a way where i could assert my way, which was with a friend rather than family. It all seemed hopeless, and i wrote notes about it while i was at the computer, but when i came back from the shop and started cooking brekkie i decided to just let it roll over me; ie cry.

Suddenly i heard the door of the main house go - i wasn't alone - they had come this weekend instead of next. When i got over the shock i was quite civil, and had gone down the road to ask a friend if my eyes were red... he said they weren't and i looked good.

When i came in to the computer i realised that the book with the assertion theory was open and easily read - as they had asked to check their email. Oh well, stranger things have happened, and at least i mentioned to them that i might not be around next weekend (in other words no way in the world will i let them interfere with that).

Sigh. How ridiculous this all is. How willing and able i would defect, if i knew no-one would get hurt - and if i was welcome. :-)

2005-09-07T06:54:00.000+10:00

Sometimes when people avoid you it's not a paranoid reaction that makes me wonder why but genuine concern. But it's also letting go - they obviously avoid you because they're happier that way.

There was a huge conservatism, and i was still in mourning and a happier friendlier maybe less jokey me seems to be re-emerging. I have, this year, made strong efforts to avoid/ostracise people myself : for various reasons - including giving up drinking inordinate amount of alcohol as relaxation; one's enough. Also an almost cruel way of trying to change another's mindset that was becoming unbearable. I tell, get it out and therefore can appear negative; but actually it's not, and i am happier and easier to be without pretending.

I am very at peace at the moment, with myself. Enjoyment. Almost reading a fun maths book for relaxation. Peopl politics suits some people and not others.

The person who drew this hasn't talken to me for years, but i remembered this when i was reading about borderline personality disorder and just found it in an old book (selected writings of mahatma gandhi which i havent read right through but which has a favourite clip in) Looking back, all i needed was someone to take the weight off my body, literally, as i did myself decades later; my self-image conflicted with my mirror-image. Then just now i was wondering whether i've always had problems with that in one way or another, but by now the goods outweigh the bads and i don't care anymore.... about that.

2005-09-06T19:34:00.000+10:00

I converted someone to suduko today - he said he didn't understand it, yet i had heard him tell someone he had a hiIQ, and sure enuf he pickt it up quick; and a friend at lunch whom i hadn't talken to for a while (well, not since the lost wallet incident below but before that yonks) said she loves the diabolical ones. Strange how life goes, really; in this present job i've never really had a lunch-mate, someone you have lunch with; ive roamed the streets and such for years, instead. . . the first job i've been so ostracised (well, in a way, that's what it is). And in the last month iv had friends ring i never see; we part again, each to their own lot; some mistrust but in that case, a strong binding force made it obvious the link wasnt about to break. Friends from overseas that maybe in a truthful sense there's been decades of jealousy which seems to have vanished.

And my love, the invisibility of it. I guess that is wotis changing me.. and god bless new orlean-ers

2005-09-01T07:28:00.000+10:00

I haven't had a pair of these in decades; wanted red but the lady said that they're not in this season's pickings, pointing down at her own that she'd worn for nine months, and practically chose these for me. I would have gotten the size smaller, but she said the make of shoe is long and thin, it gives your feet room to move, and wear insoles. Then when a friend said that room at the top was like a brake, i started to enjoy them and imagine playing basketball gain, especially after seeing a guy practice hoops in the beautiful courts just behind work. But at my age, gently does it ;-) !

2005-08-28T15:43:00.000+10:00

my boss's copy of the latest harry potter (cos of the fiasco below a few people said you can borrow mine) with the lavender sticky note, which told me it was for me from my jobshare partner, showing where i'm up to and which chapters to read in the next sitting; which i'm just about to do.

2005-08-16T18:04:00.000+10:00

Wow. That was bloody hilarious. I was down to my last 5 bux the day before the day before payday. I met a friend who preferred a hot chocolate to a drink ("what is it with you and gin and tonics - hmph; fun darlink... ;-) and so i sat at the busstop until her bus came. Then when i was on the pedestrian crossing straight after the man in front of me turned around and pointed to the ground where there was a wallet surrounded in money. A guy in a car waiting for the pedestrians all to cross got out of his car and told me that it had fallen out of a guy's truck so i collected all the money and went to the corner where i searched through it and rang his mate and told him for the guy to meet me at the pub. While i was talking a man around my age or older stood just next to me, waiting for me to finish, and when i did, told me he was going to the pub too; that he was a grandfather and could he borrow some money, to which i replied no i'm broke til thursday. Seeing as i was going to the pub anyway, i spent my last note on a drink, and talked to my mate. Within 15 mins i saw a young guy (i looked at his drivers' licence to see what age he was and if there was a discrepancy he was gonna have to cough up his address and age) at the bar, talking to one of the staff i didn't know. He was so relieved he gave me a tip which in my predicament i wasn't going to refuse so i doubled my money!!!!! Hilarious and wierd.

2005-08-14T08:51:00.000+10:00

Slightly nearing a cold, so am pulling back : sleeping it off. Quite busy : have to fit everything in, but nothing like a mon-fri working mother! Well, at least i posted. ;-)

Havent even done the sudokus in the paper since Tuesday, so should make that a - fun - prerogative.

2005-08-08T21:59:00.000+10:00

i've got a great big pimple on my chinny-chin-chin! i wonder if that sort of stuff stops with men-o-paws ;-) So the space shuttle is going round the world for another 24 hours. Bloody hell guys if you're bored up there and web-surfing we're all with you! After all in a way i guess it's just another day-at work. TV shows have lost their magic lately. Got tons of organic flours and stuff today well not tons it came to under 20 bux : besan (chickpea) flour; wheat grain (dam i meant to get bran); psyillum (from India); and organic oats. Doesn't alter the fact i've got a huge big pimple on my chinny-chin-chin! LOL

2005-08-06T08:39:00.000+10:00

Actually tried citrus juice and milk this morning. I avoided the batch of grapefruits on the table like the plague cos i'd read they were bad for something; whereas tumeric is good for something! A friend read Harry Potter on Thursday even if i didn't (paid the full price to support the bookshop, even though they said 'we are obligated to tell you you can buy this much cheaper elsewhere' ... she reckons that they sell it underprice just to get people into the shop). Anyhow she's lending me her copy, even tho' i let out part of the plot of desperate housewifes (that bree's husband dies from the chemist's poisoning) that i found out on Letterman! Her closest said to me you know for a tiny person you've got the biggest mouth (!) ... anyway now, thanks to the above site, i know all about the last show in the series; i don't really watch it all the time, but like the music and the narrator's style. Seeing as i'm in the mood for spoilers, bold and beautiful's gone crazy again ... so now i don't have to watch that either !!! LOL

2005-08-05T09:37:00.000+10:00

This 'hay' diet (yeah, we were laughing at the pub about eating chaff) is taking a bit of mind-boggling getting used to (haven't started it yet).... i mean, if you can't mix starch and protein, that cuts heaps of thai food out, right? Apparently a swish hotel in London has a special menu to cater for Hay diets. And admitedly, the author, Doris Grant - who writes so enthusiasticallarly and friendly - does say that if your body is having trouble with the above mix then this diet will help, so it's not adamantly best for everyone (and i am having trouble and this seems the cheapest solution!). It was interesting reading that acid fruits are alkali food, and that alkali food, which we need in relation to acid food 4:1, is mainly expelled out of the lungs... and that our stumach creates different enzymes according to whether the food is protein or starch. All very interesting. In a way it reminds me of macrobiotics, cos of their 'yin' and 'yang', which i never understood (or didn't want to cos my favourite foods were all the wrong type) so it may be easier to understand that.

This time the photo is of an uncut loaf - the book says white flour has too many sick chemicals in it, but i'd bought the white flour already, because the recipe i first heard of 'doris grant' on used half wholemeal and half white. Also i'm going to get wheat germ - it should be organic, judging from the general gist of the book, but seeing as doris herself started on the hay system for a year without changing to wholemeal and organic (cos she didn't know at the time you should) it's all in the goodness of time.

2005-08-04T12:20:00.000+10:00

Must admit i was down last night - probably cos i was exhausterd, emotional and worried about my tummy pinching feeling... i didnt sleep for long before i was wide awake, at what i thought was dawn but was 2.30am... by the end (5.30) of lying on the couch doing sudoku and listening to the closed down SBS CD of harp music, Rolf Harris's animal hospital show and American live footage of the space shuttle mending of the eggshell-like tiles, i got to sleep again til 7.45, but realised that 2 days left of holiday was still 2 days plus the weekend of anarchic do-as-you-will, and that i was going to enjoy it. In other words i wasn't down anymore.

Had an amazing stroke of luck today, well... I'd taken in a box of books to the first bookstore that would take them, and they rang up and said i had a credit of $20. Well I'd seen the latest Harry Potter for $27.99-ish at KMart, so had $10-15 ready to hand over for the balance, and was going to spend a rainy afternoon (yes the weather finally broke, all holiday it's been almost summery, yesterday a touch of balminess even) reading it; but he asked for $25. I nearly had a fit - $45 when i could buy it for $15 less down the road! Oh but that's the recommended retail price he said. He asked me if i wanted cash and i said yes, but the other guy on the counter said that i couldn't, even though i protested that i'd told the guy on the phone i wanted HP which is why i'd gotten credit. Bloody hell... they said it was valid for 6 months, but i was a bit miffed, and went looking for another book - me, whose trying to downsize possessions to the ultimate. I thought of a new street directory, and then started to realise i might be overstepping the free 15-minute car parking deal i'd pressed into the metre - and then found food combining for health - and it wasn't til i got home til i realised that it was the book i was after once i'd found that amazing doris grant bread recipe!!!! Wow, so it worked out after all, and i can still spend the afternoon reading except that i've gone off tv-watching so might leave it til then! I've just had a thai garlic prawns meal, with a juice and dark orange chocolate (haven't read the book yet), and honestly can't complain :-D

2005-08-02T09:19:00.000+10:00

There are a few shows about the Hiroshima bombing on the tv at the moment, it being 60 years. The first i knew about it was as an infant, going to Cheadle Hulme Library; there was a picture book describing what happened, and i remember sitting on the floor reading it in one go : i was probably about 9. Then in the early 1980's a heap of us had psychic readings from a lady called Cameron : she told me i had been imprisoned in Japan, although i looked Japanese, because i had an English father and passport; and died by my own hands in 1946 because the cancers from the bombings were killing me anyway (I tore this up yesterday : she also said i was going to be a musician and by now would have been married 25 years - deserve my money back love ;-). Late on Sunday night i watched Hiroshima (1995) which was really a doco with direct memories from survivors, both American vets and Japanese victims; and both simulated and real footage (the black rain). Yesterday a taxi driver from Hong Kong who moved here in 1964 told me, after saying he never went to pubs because from the start people called him a japo, defended the American bombing; his parents loathed the Japanese. That made it easier to watch a show the next night on the horrific Japanese prisoner of war camps. Tonight it is a show on the submarine that infiltrated Sydney Harbour. Funnilly enough i got some light relief as the BBC show, Night and Day, which was booted off in both UK and here for low ratings, but i found entertaining. I would never condone racism : however environment can affect and mutilate human emotions and behaviour. I haven't been to Japan, but this makes it clearer to me why people hated the Japanese ... in the same vein, i was vastly relieved when Keifer Sutherland started turning up in ads to say that 24 is not directed against Muslims, but against terrorists. That that had to be spelled out, and was, speaks volumes. Today's bread wasnt too good at all! ;-(

2005-07-30T13:41:00.000+10:00

damn. i was happilly taking a break from typing / checking racing results by preparing a meal for lunch and dinner (ie so i didn't have to think about it again) and put the palm of my writing hand on a cake-cooling tray that i'd just taken out of the pre-warmed oven as i put the dish in. Luckilly for me i've completed the writing part of today, and the slightly bent position the bandage of paw-paw ointment, folded up kitchen paper towel positioned by four elastoplasts fits snugly over the track-ball, and typing is ok. writing is impossible for the rest of the day - and i've yet to see how deep part of the burn is. I was nearly going to 'reiki' it, or tear some aloe vera from the garden apart, but my money's with paw-paw ointment at the moment. thank goodness you can get it from the chemist. Better be careful getting the dish out one-handed!!! Wow though, i did a lot this morning - and the shake in my hand that was affecting my handwriting seems to have gone. phew. (the burn is a faint mark and i lost 70% of the money i bet - that'll teach me ;-)

2005-07-29T12:00:00.000+10:00

Set off to get an online betting account, and half-way down the street realised had forgotten form. By the afternoon i'd finally gotten myself a chicken and cashew thai, and shared the end of the meat with a young (skinny) magpie - who wouldn't eat his greens or rice. Then at the pub i was looked on with disdain for even ATTEMPTING to get my online betting account without 'earning' (winning) it first, as i had vehemently insisted upon. Then George bought me a certain win which paid $8.60 which was precisely the amount for a g&t and a schooner of VB.

The bread is too damp. I was only half concentrating when i made it; i used up all the available flour, and then put 125ml water because the recipe said to, but i hadn't used the amount of flour the recipe wanted; it's more like damper or brioche; doesn't toast well, and obviously wont keep. Still, it's enjoyably edible.

That freek storm in Birmingham - i think that's where the next test match is. What wierd times. By far the best bit of today included the Rosella parrots which hold loud rackety court in three biggun gum trees down on the main road at some time in the morning and the IRA saying they'll be political instead of violent from now on.

2005-07-28T08:38:00.000+10:00

The precision with which athletes like Lance Armstrong and Grant Hackett attain their goals is mindblowing. I used to be overwhelmed by a description of a conductor who could go out into the garden while a record was playing and hum exactly the right bar as he re-entered the airspace - that's old-hat now, i have done it myself - lol, rather less athletic exertion!

I put some more bread in the oven. I've got tons of projects to finish - today. Then I will sit down and write some book, map out the location, maybe see if my back is ok to sit and type again. The weather will probably be, once again, so beautiful that joy just comes out, naturally. An old friend rang for two hours yesterday; even after years - about 8 - of not talking, we knew each other inside out; amazing really. Oh, and i have managed to put on weight - about 3 k's. I can lose my appetite very easily though, so it's still a work-in-progress.

It's quite hard photographing food - a friend has just complemented me on my sports photography, aren't friends wonderful - but this is at least more in focus than the first loaf... time to eat some!

2005-07-26T08:53:00.000+10:00

At some point yesterday, probably when i got out and realised what beautiful weather it is (a 'hot' winter day), my spirits soared. Su Doku kept me occupied all night except for '24' which was at times too scarey to watch and also too short. So i kept doing Sudoku. It's interesting me again in that so often when i'm 'stuck' it's cos of human failing; not noticing something - to a 'trained eye' not noticing something is a different 'kettle of fish' than for one knew or only vaguely interested in the game. The concept of leaving it and coming back is now just to refresh, always aiming to find that silly mistake or vital link. Some of what happens now seems almost taking a risk, but accruing to sound logical principles. Of course a lapse of attention can bring in stupid mistakes! That's just one of the training areas to master.

2005-07-25T08:41:00.000+10:00

This weekend i read Morality for Beautiful Girls by Alexander McCall Smith, which Dad told me is easy reading, he'd read the lot, and that i'd enjoy.

It was fun seeing Valentino Rossi stand up after winning in the cold and rain at Donnington, now being 104 points ahead of anyone, and mimick playing a violin. It wasn't fun seeing him on the podium shivvvvverrrrrrinnnnngg his head off, cos also that means the weather's not that good in London. Gillespie didn't have a jacket on in the rain however, i noticed in the paper today.

It wasn't a shot in the face, being left-out-of-the-loop at the weekend, because i understood hysterical reactions and didn't take them to heart. Today was going to be another 'inside' day... yesterday I spent inside (the house) but i've already been on two 'errands' apart from the daily visit to the newsagent. I'm so much calmer now. I can take friends' and family foibles as they come, without being suffocated. Well, actually i wasn't quite sure of that today, but it's still early and i'll just work away doing what i do... keeping on track and not going backwards.

The bread that i made is still beautiful to eat. Because of the extreme emotional but controlled tasking of the last weekend, i have to be careful again of my tummy. I don't think i like reggiano cheese which was $8.89 instead of the commercial parmesan at 3.20 : anyway it wasn't flaky, and had hard white bits in it that didn't melt under the griller. Call me non-cultured, but when Michael sold it to me he said the taste was great - but i missed the taste of the parmesan i'm used to!

2005-07-22T09:52:00.000+10:00

The simpler bread recipe in the heart cookbook provided much better results - well, so far : it rose within half-an-hour; mixing all the ingredients with a spoon, and almost whipping it, then just the one rise and in the oven for around half-an-hour. It's based on a Doris Grant recipe; her book provided many with inspiration. (The photo's not very focused but the cut bread is now in my tummy - very edible, not heavy at all - must be all in the whipping, which takes out the yucky bit about getting dough all over fingers. It rose to double original size).

I've decided to be nearly half-a-stone heavier, which means eating more, and in order to gain muscle rather than fat, to work out again. Hmmm, maybe eating more was the easy part!!! lol. I remember when i was much bigger, and it seemed that the consensus was that skinny women lived on their nerves; well mine have been overworked and it's not healthy. Oats are a good nerve tonic... then again, my memory has been underworked, and one of the human frailties as we grow older... that indian variety of basil, now what's its name.

So much advice about healthy eating to discover and sift through; and so many food blogs one could almost degustate!!!

2005-07-20T10:22:00.000+10:00

Relating Sudoku back to customer service and communication - being skilled at something is in a way being able to do it in the most economical way. In other words even though it might take 10 years for a skilled person to do something, at least at the end of that ten years there is a quality product.

Finally today I was able to get a 'difficult' Sudoku out in one sitting. In a work environment, where you are paid, it might not be feasible to come back to a problem after a break - there may be a customer who deserves a reaction other than 'we'll contact you later' (That, I guess could come into the 'surprise them' basket). Also you may be being paid for your skill AND speed. The look on competitors' faces in the Tour de France shows how much effort those guys expel, purportedly the hardest physical race on the planet - for what... LA said yesterday the feeling of all the competitors in the last part, the race around the Champs Elysees ('cuse spelling), was very special. The race is then over - you can have regrets, but you live with it. So both in the extra-care customer service and the competitor, it's a case of putting all of your energy to use for a goal with a computable result. With that in mind, I set down to do a difficult Sudoku in one sitting. I knew from yesterday how easy it is to miss things, so that was a goal - after a periodic check to change blue into black (see below) - not to miss a thing. The Zen of Sudoku.

A longer-term goal is to remove the 'checking' element, and living with the huge mistakes to the extent of correcting them. And - once the learning curve is smoothing out - to appreciate the activity at a less-consuming level. In relation to work, a correction in my Sudoku method is not to zoom all over the place so much - which might be fun for me, keeps me amused - but is not easy to follow (this in turn brings in a removable personal stigma [perhaps] of thought-patterns phases out during repetive organised activity). For instance, you can either check the numbers in the first instance (ie writing in red the possibles) by looking at each number over the whole board, or doing each square at a time. I am of the opinion that each square at a time is the most accurate. You can also see at a glance where the checking ends - some squares are 'red'-ded, some are not - some need to be checked as they could or could not be finished. Such distractions therefore - as phone-calls or baby-cries - aren't so much of a burden, as once sitting down again there's that relaxing feeling of why, i've got time for some more puzzle.

Of course I'm talking of someone not-at-work - I've not had one of those jobs where doing crosswords and chatting in newsgroups is part of work for some time. About to try Kuzu drink.
A blend of kuzu, umeboshi plum pulp and ginger, it's not the same as the one in the book it rests on. Interesting taste - think it's helping my tummy relax, ;0)

2005-07-18T13:06:00.000+10:00

It's amazing how easy it is to relax when stress is eliminated. Of course, being in such a state can make world problems seem solvable by writing a song; or at least making the effort or showing more interest in finding the truth out. For instance, at the moment, you'd be hard pressed to realise that in the last week there has been an escalation of violence in Iraq, because commercial televisions are dominated by other things.

Why I thought of this was because when a Sudoku problem is too hard, i now walk away from it, and invariably when i come back I will notice something else : for instance, if there's two squares out of three left in a line, and two squares can only be one of two, then you can eliminate both of those from square 3.

And I've got a nice little system going. Here it is : using white- board markers, a $2-shop fridge-sized whiteboard, and a cotton bud (name-change since i bought my present pack!). The given numbers are in black, the possibles in the unsolved squares are red, and the solved but not checked (well i have got a book with the answers in the back so i might as well use them til i stop totally making mistakes) are in blue. So I do a bit, then check them in the book, and if i've got the blue ones right, i make them black. This is also because it's easier visually to just look for black numbers rather than black and blue!!! It is supposed to be fun, after all ;-)

So - in case of not being able to see any more clues - the board can be left like this, or if all the blue were right, turning to black and putting the new correct numbers in the relevant puzzle in the book); or of course if one of the blue ones is wrong, ALL of the blue ones get rubbed out (and it often helps if all the red ones too. By writing the 'knowns' in the book, the puzzle can be rubbed out even if not solved; the ones in the paper are getting harder, so the board is needed for them too (before i got this board set up i nearly went and bought another paper one day because i'd made so much mess of the sudoku i wanted to start again!).

You may have picked up at least two mistakes already in the above puzzle : cosmetically, what's that red 6 doing; and just above the red six in the same column, 4 and 9 can be cotton-budded out, as can the 2 in the same square.... the sort of things that stare you straight in the face after a break.

It wasn't long at all until the whole puzzle was out : here it is solved, still with the blue numbers.

I notice online the sudoku pages don't mention whiteboards; just why computer programs are the better way to do sudoku. I'd rather this one, as you can't cheat : the rule is if one blue number is wrong, all blue are erased. Also it's easier staring at a piece of paper than an illuminated computer screen. I've still got to find if this is the 'magic square' of maths textbooks - some page mentioned it is Euclid. On first (googled) glance it's not exactly the same, but interestingly enough,the next googled glance attributed the knowledge of magic squares to chinese, japanese and tibetan mathematicians and philosophers, citing the use of number theory in the I-Ching.

2005-07-16T10:36:00.000+10:00

'single point critical system'... wow i like that term. Of course i googled it - and what's more, this link is an online powerpoint presentation which is one of my short-term goals, to learn how to do. Years back a group email came round of a mini-film, complete with sound of the waterfall, done in powerpoint - i guess secretaries have a lot of time on their hands, but it was also very clever and probably done at home then shared around! ;-) Anyway it seems to be an engineering / electronics / computing term. It's an amazingly detailed and readable analysis... not that i've read the whole thing yet, i'm still recovering ...

Woah. After sleeping at the most for 3 hours for 2 nights, and then again waking up after 3 hours (south pacific sent me to sleep which was a pity really as i've never seen it the whole way through - aunty lorna loved it) i decided if i was still awake at 4am i'd do the bread recipe i'd opened the book at - and yeah, i slept through the alarm after the first hour of leaving it to rise. Luckilly i was aware something had woken me, and then realised that even though i was cross with my fab new phone not having a 'snooze' button (so that it kept 'alarming' you) it did actually have 3 alarm settings; so for the next 'rising' i set 2 of them 5 minutes apart. I don't like getting doughy fingers, and would rather do it with a knife.

Anyway, so i got a bit more sleep last night, and finally got out a Sudoku i'd been working on for days. I do miss bnet, but wouldn't mind hanging out 'til Halloween! LOL. It's a good online community, and i visit their blogs and this week that brought the realisation how many ppl i 'know' from it. I reckon a visit to the dentist is the next expense however!!! That could cost a fortune.

2005-07-13T11:10:00.000+10:00

Someone could - or is - making a fortune from such as this home-made version of a sudoku board : with the grid in permanent ink, and providing a whiteboard (erasable) pen... even extra facets.

I made this up because last night i was stuck on one from the book that i bought Monday - it had no 5's at all, so there were at least 2 choices for every hard-to-solve square (you can see i've left one of the 5's outo in the bottom right line 3 in!). This morning - as i avoid going on the computer late at night for my eye's sake - I googled on sudoku hints, and found one that gave me some ideas, but reinforced the practice i had been doing of (as in illustration) putting all possible numbers in the square. Seeing I was in danger of needing another correction pen as well as breathing it in and clogging up the biro by writing on it before it had dried, i remembered this little whiteboard, with the novel's synopsis on it. Rummaging around i found two colours of permanent marker and the whiteboard marker that was attached to it, and ruled up the grid. It will be amusing to see if they do come on the market, for as the back of the book attests, it is quite addictive, and therapeutic for concentration, inference and self-criticism (as well as confidence).

Hmm, the morning is running away, but it feels good to have 'interest' back in life. Will try the pizza dough recipe again tonight, as i didn't spread the dough out enough and it was too thick - but an excellent recipee off a bowienet messageboard thread from her grannie who grew up in Benvenuto (which at first glance i thought was Verdi's birthplace but that is Busseto

2005-07-12T11:21:00.000+10:00

The thrown-away winning race ticket wasn't worth as much as I had thought (i had looked at the bookie price) but still, it's a lesson to learn.
My roll of Scotch Crystal Clear Tape ran out today. It had been my favourite sellotape, with its little red tartan plastic dispenser, slightly thicker in width and excellent adhesive quality. The dispenser has the recycling sign on it, but there's no identity to where it was made - must be for universal market, with english/french and metric/inches.
Similarly appreciated are my favourite pens of the moment : the bandaged bear day pen (quite the most comfortable charity pen I've ever bought - luckily my local shop are still selling them, and at $3 a pop i stock up!) and the Staedtler Triplus ball F (bought when pen-less on the road) which is quite the most comfortable pen with its new-pencil-like-length and three-sided grip.
I didn't do much about the synopsis yesterday, as the paper said there was a book of Sudo Ku down at the newsagents; there sure was, and most of them are 'difficult' - and that's very true. I'll need a new white-out pen soon! However, they are very useful in :

putting off other tasks (!)
aiding concentration
the power of preparation : being patient enough to really find all the absolute nowhere-else-to-go numbers
keeping level headed; writing the right number in the spot instead of greedilly looking for the next clue and absent-mindedly putting the wrong number in the right spot, or the right number in the wrong spot
learning to retain long-term-useless information so can back-track at the time of puzzling
releasing sense of humour when realise cant continue due to former mistake, and the fact that one DID make a mistake
being able to think forward in head with clarity and precision and avoiding quick presumptions without proper deductive conclusions
the power of inference!
the power of practise, knowledge, technique, confidence, patience and perseverance.
admitting some of them are reallyhard!

On with the day, this is it ;-)

2005-07-11T09:21:00.000+10:00

It was quite late before I felt like the sunday reading of a book - after i'd read the paper twice, cut out the coupons for the dream car competition, and caught up on the monthly glossy mag from the city's main paper. The day before I'd half-heartedly begun to tidy up the books, and out came a pile of children's books I'd gotten cheap from the library; including Finn's Island by Eileen Dunlop (1991). It was an entrancing tale, full of whimsical undertones such as we can't choose our parents but in the end it is possible to come to terms with them and be yourself as well; we can dream our lives away, but the most amazing coincidences can appear to ground us; money isn't everything but being able to take initiative and counsell from others can help it balance out with living expenses; and - close to my heart - plants hold amazing properties than can help humans!

The coincidence factor was continued on with a story about the cyclist Lance Armstrong's victory over cancer on tv in the evening (Sixty Minutes). Coincidence, synergy, syncronicity : one of the most important facets still to be scientifically measured. I woke up realising it will be, quite soon (In next 50 years). Not, maybe, as astute as Colin Wilson's Factor X!

I will have to force myself to get down and do the synopsis today.

2005-07-10T09:40:00.000+10:00

After cutting out all the goods that i would buy today if i had the money, from a brochure inside the sunday paper:-

microwave $229
portable dvd $599
gastop/electric oven $1995
LCD tv $699
home theatre package $1287
side-by-side fridge $2199

(therefore imagining spending around $7000 on credit), I turned to the horse-racing results.

I hadn't meant to bet at all, but was determined to go see what it was like wearing my new glasses. They just didn't look 'me' at home, and in fact the local shopkeeper said the same thing, and didn't want me to wear them. I could see the board however; and in this particular race Jon Ron came up from a bad start and last position to win; what i hadn't noticed was that Mr Marvellous had indeed come second.

The pub is a bit shaken at the moment, with the new non-smoking law. A lady i didnt see much but is a great friend of a friend, was there, and looking at her through the new glasses i nodded, but continued watching the before-race coverage. Then another mate said they were all going outside for a smoke. (bit like smokos at work! i'd not go there to smoke, but for the company) I watched the race, didn't hear either of my horses, and went to join them, which turned to her. It's unusual there being another lady in the crowd, and sure enough when a mate returned they'd been involved in a ribald joke concerning her and the name of a horse in the next race (that came 4th) There was a draw for losing tickets at 5pm, but i didn't intend on staying long and nor did she so she didn't want it, and so after fiddling with it I chucked it in an ashtray. I'm on a strict budget and so had to go before I accepted a drink and then another....

Not that the fact it had really been worth 125% more than i bought it for, but the fact that i let distraction win over cold hard cash; and also that the glasses aren't social. I need a snazzy pair, and a better attitude when i go to buy them. I guess in retrospect if I really looked at the board, instead of giving up because I heard it had come 4th, which is a bit of a mystery but they may have corrected as i left second after I'd heard '4th', I would have stayed and bet the winnings and bought another drink. Morale of this story :
never throw away a tab ticket straight away
admit that when I heard 4th, it was '4', and the number of the horse that had come second!!!
D'oh!

The other thing i retrieved from the paper is a 'farmstay' location. The picture resembled Loweswater Lake - not that i've been there for 40 years apart from in spirit, as one can say (!) Sort of the very place that if i'd done a J.K. and become England's richest woman i would have bought the childhood holiday house.

Talking of J.K., with her weekend coming up, I was - before immersed in work stress - going to have at least the third and final plot for my second attempt at a novel finished before the second last book made everyone dream of writing the world's most popular book. Well, well, the stress has ended and there is still time. Isn't life wonderful.

Another thing i haven't done is draw, which is partly due to the fact my hands shake. Maybe i can stop them shaking, which brings me back to the list of stress symptoms in the first posting of this blog, under a week ago : so i thought it expedient to re-visit it.

not being able to relax out of work simple:when thoughts/worry about it come up, think on loved ones instead. if stress happens at work; similarly, think on what carries through life, not this particular situation apart from the best possible solution to the 'crisis', however mini
overload become aware of best work practice and how much can be achieved (time management, prioritisation, teamwork, planning) within own delegation
eyesight compensate by training my memory to take over as much as possible and to centre in on details so that eyes are not overly used
shaking exercise, relaxation, concentration on body workings, practice
making mistakes at work affirmative action with overload and carrying out tasks; and taking up 'outside' work again with hope that it becomes lucrative

Realising I threw away a winning ticket was a relevation that actually made me laugh just now, and it was well worth losing the little profit that i had made to realise such fallibility- as well as noticing a relaxed happy composure had taken over from the stress and angry determination of last week. It was a matter of glossing over detail because of something else that had taken priority, and if i can learn that lesson today, so that I don't make the mistake again, and especially not at work, it will have been worth it. I shall write it into a scene from this book whose plot needs to be complete by Friday for my life to fall into place again!

2005-07-10T05:48:00.000+10:00

Found two old textbooks; looking for Creating Competent Communication (Hugenberg/Moyer-Patsey, 1997) after i found the student manual, instead found Getting Ready to Negotiate (Fisher and Ertel, 1995). I studied the subject within a business sub/major and didn't do that well; it's probably not the best type of subject to do by correspondence! In fact I don't think i've even attempted to read these books right through...

Have caught myself in various slouches, frowns and other inwardly unconfident poses, and postively reinforced better stance and mood, i was therefore happier when i subconsciously started to stretch my back when looking for the book. Two ladies that i smiled at yesterday didn't come out of such behaviour; it's not been long since i could have had that reaction (and ages since it consumed me), but being automatically smiled at in the street is such a present... totally voluntary and no harm meant otherwise... just that the negative anger that can slightly show itself couldn't be much fun. Last tuesday a lady talked to me as i passed the bus-stop she was at because a couple with pram had just rudely pushed past her. She said things aren't like that where she comes from, everyone is polite to each other.

I like reading a book on a Sunday. Corse, if something comes up, i didn't read a book that day. And it may not be a whole book. But if i do manage to find the Hugenberg/Moyer-Patsey one, i'll start it - not forgetting the library books atop here were taken out for a reason ;-)

2005-07-08T23:40:00.000+10:00

I've been noticing different customer service situations this week : from picking up a new pair of glasses to having the mobile phone company ring and explain how to set up multimedia messages.

'Dealing' with marketing calls at home is also a valuable resource. Their emotional content of opening mood and message is somewhat ruined when they ask for the husband, or only know you as an entry in the telephone book. While not wanting to upset the caller unneccesarily, their phone call is an unwanted intrusion with a request for information or monies. Especially with the high price of landlines these days. However the professional ire with which some of them negate any request not to participate is almost stalking, bullying or just plain get-out-of-my-face material. Valuable practice in self-assertion can be to aim to politely and with the same verbal power decline the call and hang up. Let it go.

When I picked up the new set of glasses I had rung the previous week, because they were overdue; the attitude of the young staff was casual, which they probably were as part of the rotating shift amongst the several city shops; and judging from the casual nature of their clothes, the job wasn't well paid. So I took the service offered with mixed emotions, and determined to get the second pair elsewhere. They probably have little interest in their job.

The mobile phone customer service was excellent. I had applied for assistance online, stating very clearly what i wanted to solve. I received an email back - without the automatic automated response. I was taken through the process (of putting multimedia ability on the phone which basically means connecting to the internet from it) and was amazed at how like a computer it is. It was all done with a great attitude, no talking down at all (ie no ego-playing getting in the way). I was probably an easier customer and was prompted to ring them back if it didn't work. I really felt like i was a valuable customer. I thanked him after for ringing out of work hours. He probably likes his job.

That brings back the memories of getting the phone. I spent a night without a functioning one, and then headed down to where i'd seen a special on a pre-paid camera phone. The shop had sold out the afternoon before (ie before my phone had gone down). After i finally found, after a long walk, what i wanted - a prepaid camera phone - the shop owner and I spat and spated at each other, with the result i got an absolutely beautiful phone, for, i am beginning to think, at quite a reduced cost. It was like a son-in-law and mother-in-law, i tell you; so eventually i broke the ice by asking him what 'bulshit' was in his language - he turned to the young shop assistant and they discussed the equivalent word.

Then the emotional blast of turning on the telly last night to see the london bombings; and the absolute precision and professionalism of the emergency services, led and controlled by the police force. They kept stressing that their services were very highly trained and wow did it show. The absolute gutter scraping of the journalists was in sharp contrast, but heh, that's their job. No, the unity and worth of the emergency services was astounding.

The mobile phone seller didn't have [polite] customer service skills - he was a manager and a businessman, but he gave me a great deal and professional service (checking the phone in shop, explaining the warranty, instant negative reaction as to whether he carried accessories), and we had a bit of fun despite protocol. His shop was chaotic, but worked in its chaos : a little bit of magic to lighten the day up.

Meanwhile, I'm still broke and somewhat battered, yet a pattern is emerging and progress has been made.

2005-07-07T04:29:00.000+10:00

There are various ways that we can deal with stress at work. There are not many that are constructive however!!!

I am more used to writing blogs in rock-band websites, and havent written anything 'serious' for about 7 years, so probably wont publicize this blog until it's acheiving its purpose, which is as a source of how one particular person recognised the source of stress and lack of optimum performance at work, and attempted to solve it - and in doing so helping others by forming a constructive pattern of positive action as well as forever losing the 'victim' tag.

Over the weekend, I read Andrea Adams' book on Bullying in the Workplace, and the book was enlightening to say the least, and I began to realise that throwing the same I Ching trigram twice in a row, both at a time when I felt threatened at work - 1 The Creative and 44 Coming to Meet (with the first line moving) - meant I had to stand up for myself, even though I was being beseiged with negative feedback!

The little compartments of our lives - home, work, social, love - can often mean we have different 'faces', and while not exactly appearing different in each one, often finding that people treat us differently in each one. This facet can happen, too, at work. The most important thing in that respect is the work, and an optimally professional outlook.

So the symptoms of stress, in my case, were :-
- not being able to relax out of work, always worrying about it, which carried forward last week INTO work, so i was uptight when i got there this has been reduced by talking to my supervisor, and also doing sudoku number puzzles in the paper each day; also seeing a counsellor
- when overload hits, my mind went into answering the next query asap without total concentration on the matter
- my eyesight, severely strained by a database job, was such a worry it seems I started to look at a scheduling program as little as possible which led me to make big mistakes i now have a new pair of glasses, and was surprised when i got a prescription for computer work, which led me to the above conclusion
- shaking hands and a involuntary neck spasm when concentrating on the computer the neck spasm may be hereditary, but both it and the hands seem to be related to computer work, and the first step for me is to have regular breaks to stand up and stretch, and also concentrate on neck and back stretching as a daily exercise
- making mistakes at work which with careful hindsight I have decided can be alleviated by regaining my supervisor's confidence; thinking twice before I make a statement; and asking a colleague to listen to my side of the story

So here is my original plan, to work on :
- when i first get to work, i relax, look at the diary, visualise in my mind when certain people will arrive, and thus the first possible distractions from concentrated work
- when i start a project, knowing that at any time a phone call or reception client may interupt, as well as another member of staff, to plan to be able to stop working on the project (ie break concentration), take a nanosecond moment for oneself and to count to ten / breathe, and then approach the next action with full concentration and ability.
- beating isolation by asking some of colleagues from nearby department if i can join them for lunches sometimes; concentrating awareness of physical position in office so that do not get startled by any customer, internal or external, and being able to take on their emotional message as an aside to the work demand

I haven't yet been in the workplace to carry out any of the above, or met with my supervisor and their assistant manager, but thanks to a lot of retrospection and the reading of Andrea's book, as well as my supervisor offering to act as a mentor as I concentrate on learning customer service skills, I feel that I am capable of regaining respect in this particular job.

So if this site works it's a work in progress that will end up as an article on one person's approach to happier work! See you soon....